Beauty and the Blah

They are beautiful, but they didn’t uplift me as I hoped they would.

I had a bad sleep. Beautiful dreams came, only to turn to angst and despair. I hate dreaming. I’m tired.

Kids are off to school. I have my tea in hand and proceed to look out the window. It’s a drab winter’s day. The wind kicks up to send a light coat of snow against the window. It’s not that cold out, but it’s so…so…blah.

I’m supposed to get things done today. I’m supposed to feel inspired, but I’m tired. I’m blah.

I remind myself to suck it up and go do my job. What shall I do today? My mind stays blank with no inspiration.

I decide to do something that requires little commitment. I have last years picture to edit and organize. I’m on July-August; all the ongoing on adventures that took place.

I open the files and I’m greeted with an array of colors. Summer colors. Summer memories.  I work away, pulling the colors and textures out of the picture. I see color and light more than what my camera does and I want to recreate what my mind remembers.  It may just be the artist in me.

So here we have it – a glimpse of one day back in August.

They are beautiful pictures, but I still feel all the blah around me. I’m tired. Perhaps I just need to go have a nap? Wake up fresh?

Funny thing is that I told my husband about my dream and how beautiful it was before it turned to ash. I said how everything beautiful fades, disappears or turns ugly. That was the pity, the blah, in me. I see that in these pictures however, I captured ever lasting beauty. In that, there is hope for today.